sonogram today

Had my sonogram today, doc had me worried talking about my lining looked too thick and he was going to give me provera to start a new cycle. Then I reminded him he had me start estrace last week, then he was like oh then your fine lining is coming along fine it is at a 8. Still have to do a lining check next week, but he said I can come during ivf monitioring which is before work and just leave ultrasound with receptionist. All immune testing came back negative. So transfer is still the 14th.

I have a date

Well witch is here, will have saline sonogram on sept 2nd, I start estrace tommorrow and transfer is set for sept 14th, just so ready to get this show on the road.

Day one

Well went ahead and took my first shot of lupron, 9 more days and witch should be here, by the time my suppression check comes results of blood clotting test should be in and I will know if taking heparin is because I actually need it or if I am just taking it because it can't hurt.

Follow up Appointment Results

Went in for follow-up appointment, results of D&C came back normal male, doc said this was not good, said if it came back because something was wrong with baby he said that would of been better, said since its normal said then that means it was something wrong with me, said also with my implantation rate which would be 9% said we really have to consider something is wrong with my endometrium, said I should be having a implantation rate of 35-40%. Said after next cycle if not pregnant said I can go ahead and use up my eggs and embryos and hope for a miracle, or get a best friend to carry, or just consider myself done with trying. For this next cycle I will be adding heparin to the mix doc said this is the kitchen sink, said if this does not work then that is all. So I hope this has to work in just getting me a positive would be great at this point, am I feelin sad no because if this cycle is not working and I go in for another consult I believe doc may come up with another plan, he had a med student following him that day and he is usually overly dramatic with outcomes when he is being shadowed, So now just waiting for meds to get here so I can start lupron, thank god no birth control pills.

Warming the engine up again

Well I called yesterday to see about starting birth control pills, and my doc and his nurse were on vacation till next week, so I got some lady that insisted I had to come in for a pre ivf consult said doc won't let me start without one, little does she know I always start without having to come in since I have no cycles, but I figured just as well see if any thing came back from d&c report, lady said she did not see it in my file and it was not in front of her, ok lady I know you cannot tell me the results only the doctor can. So I go in thursday for appointment and will probally start bcp pills that night when I pick up prescription. I was scared to call because I thought I had no more credit and no more insurance to cover a FET, but I talked to the business lady and she was like you insurance rate for a FET is $750, and you have enough for two more tries, and your credit will cover a cash pay if you have to do a third, I was happy to hear that. So next week the start of FET#4 sigh.

Back to the Drawing Board

Had the second ultrasound today, there was no heartbeat, I will have the D&C tommorrow and they will test the tissue, once hcg goes back to zero will start bcp, but that is only if insurance will cover again, said they will waive the transfer fee need to see how much that is. I got the ultrasound tech that I do not like she is just so cold, she was doing the ultrasound did not say a thing had a girl in there she was suppose to be training, after she was done taking pictures she says I am sorry but there is no heartbeat but you had to have known that, I was like no I have had no cramping or bleeding so why would I know matter of fact since Sunday I have not kept any food down, and I have just been so fatique, really she said most people have a feeling. Stupid Bitch is what I wanted to say. Then I had to wait fifty million years to talk to doc, when we walked from ultrasound room to doc office everyone that usually speaks said nothing just looked away, thanks for making this better. Doc said since there was no cramping or bleeding then we can rule out hormone absorption problems, and since I was getting morning sickness means I was getting adquete hormones, said looks like it arrested sometime last week because sac looked like 7 weeks not 8 weeks, showed me a second sac on the picture said it looks like might of been twins but it would not of made it, it implanted too late it was too far behind. Cried for like five minutes hoping insurance will cover again, cannot afford another cycle on our own, hubby was laid off last month job got moved to india, got offered another job with company but it was a $20,000 paycut and entry level, I don't think so, he's been on interviews but June is bad time for interviewing its companys first quarter fiscally so budgets have been released and alot of jobs have been frozen or canceled. I guess when I get the clear start excercising to loose all this weight gained from some many cycles and being pregnant.

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

This is in honor of my father, a singer, songerwriter and producer June 3rd was his birthday he would of been 67 yrs. old, he was always about family, growing up I did not really appreciate his music, when I thought he was cool was when he performed on one of the late night talk shows with Taylor Dane. I use to love her, I thought he made the big time when he performed with her, little did I know. But her is their performance enjoy: