Back to the Drawing Board

Had the second ultrasound today, there was no heartbeat, I will have the D&C tommorrow and they will test the tissue, once hcg goes back to zero will start bcp, but that is only if insurance will cover again, said they will waive the transfer fee need to see how much that is. I got the ultrasound tech that I do not like she is just so cold, she was doing the ultrasound did not say a thing had a girl in there she was suppose to be training, after she was done taking pictures she says I am sorry but there is no heartbeat but you had to have known that, I was like no I have had no cramping or bleeding so why would I know matter of fact since Sunday I have not kept any food down, and I have just been so fatique, really she said most people have a feeling. Stupid Bitch is what I wanted to say. Then I had to wait fifty million years to talk to doc, when we walked from ultrasound room to doc office everyone that usually speaks said nothing just looked away, thanks for making this better. Doc said since there was no cramping or bleeding then we can rule out hormone absorption problems, and since I was getting morning sickness means I was getting adquete hormones, said looks like it arrested sometime last week because sac looked like 7 weeks not 8 weeks, showed me a second sac on the picture said it looks like might of been twins but it would not of made it, it implanted too late it was too far behind. Cried for like five minutes hoping insurance will cover again, cannot afford another cycle on our own, hubby was laid off last month job got moved to india, got offered another job with company but it was a $20,000 paycut and entry level, I don't think so, he's been on interviews but June is bad time for interviewing its companys first quarter fiscally so budgets have been released and alot of jobs have been frozen or canceled. I guess when I get the clear start excercising to loose all this weight gained from some many cycles and being pregnant.

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

This is in honor of my father, a singer, songerwriter and producer June 3rd was his birthday he would of been 67 yrs. old, he was always about family, growing up I did not really appreciate his music, when I thought he was cool was when he performed on one of the late night talk shows with Taylor Dane. I use to love her, I thought he made the big time when he performed with her, little did I know. But her is their performance enjoy:

1st ultrasound

Had the first ultrasound today and yes there was a grain a rice in there with a heartbeat, measuring right on track with my due date. I was so nervous thinking what if nothing is in there, the symptoms I have been having is nauseous, sore bbs, and tired, I had to take a nap yesterday instead of eating lunch I was so tired. We got to hear the heartbeat took a minute to pick up the sound kept fading in and out, said could not measure it yet too soon, then when I went in room to wait for doc he came in and said its about fucking time, and gave me a high five, okay that was interesting and a bold move how do you know my feelings about cussing, well when I use up my vial of PIO I get to use the gel now, I think I cracked the bottle I dropped it when I took it out the box and when I was filling the syringe it was dripping down the syringe, oh well at least I filled the gel prescriptions. Well next ultrasound in two weeks, I was hoping for weekly appointments.