Back to the Drawing Board

Had the second ultrasound today, there was no heartbeat, I will have the D&C tommorrow and they will test the tissue, once hcg goes back to zero will start bcp, but that is only if insurance will cover again, said they will waive the transfer fee need to see how much that is. I got the ultrasound tech that I do not like she is just so cold, she was doing the ultrasound did not say a thing had a girl in there she was suppose to be training, after she was done taking pictures she says I am sorry but there is no heartbeat but you had to have known that, I was like no I have had no cramping or bleeding so why would I know matter of fact since Sunday I have not kept any food down, and I have just been so fatique, really she said most people have a feeling. Stupid Bitch is what I wanted to say. Then I had to wait fifty million years to talk to doc, when we walked from ultrasound room to doc office everyone that usually speaks said nothing just looked away, thanks for making this better. Doc said since there was no cramping or bleeding then we can rule out hormone absorption problems, and since I was getting morning sickness means I was getting adquete hormones, said looks like it arrested sometime last week because sac looked like 7 weeks not 8 weeks, showed me a second sac on the picture said it looks like might of been twins but it would not of made it, it implanted too late it was too far behind. Cried for like five minutes hoping insurance will cover again, cannot afford another cycle on our own, hubby was laid off last month job got moved to india, got offered another job with company but it was a $20,000 paycut and entry level, I don't think so, he's been on interviews but June is bad time for interviewing its companys first quarter fiscally so budgets have been released and alot of jobs have been frozen or canceled. I guess when I get the clear start excercising to loose all this weight gained from some many cycles and being pregnant.