Look what I got.....

Well I am sitting at home bored because of all this flooding, going on here, it was hell tryimg to get home yesterday, and my neighborhood is covered in water because we have two lakes, luckly we live up on the hill so house was not flooded, but I was thinking to myself I really do not feel any symptoms this time around, no really tightening in legs, I have been taking naps at work, only had to use the bathroom alot one day, but n-e way I Peed on my only digital and this is what I got:

The Signs

I had some dark brown spotting today, so I am hoping that is implantation spotting, I was looking for it to be today or tommorrow, I was starting to lose hope because no cramps, and the tight feeling sometimes I feel and other times I don't and my nephew stomped on my toe so I have to limp so did not know if the tight feeling in top of my legs was from having to limp. Went to hospital so I could get one of those shoe boots for foot and all I smelled throughout hospital was onions, and today I am so nauseous, so I hope this spotting is a good sign.

lining check set

Set up to have lining check on tuesday morning before work, turned in my request to be able to leave work for the transfer for the 14th did not get denied, I was so scared I was because there are already two people off that day, but I guess since I am coming back to work after appointment no biggie. I am hoping lining will be fine it was a 8 on wednesday I think it will be a 12 or 14 by appointment time.

sonogram today

Had my sonogram today, doc had me worried talking about my lining looked too thick and he was going to give me provera to start a new cycle. Then I reminded him he had me start estrace last week, then he was like oh then your fine lining is coming along fine it is at a 8. Still have to do a lining check next week, but he said I can come during ivf monitioring which is before work and just leave ultrasound with receptionist. All immune testing came back negative. So transfer is still the 14th.

I have a date

Well witch is here, will have saline sonogram on sept 2nd, I start estrace tommorrow and transfer is set for sept 14th, just so ready to get this show on the road.

Day one

Well went ahead and took my first shot of lupron, 9 more days and witch should be here, by the time my suppression check comes results of blood clotting test should be in and I will know if taking heparin is because I actually need it or if I am just taking it because it can't hurt.

Follow up Appointment Results

Went in for follow-up appointment, results of D&C came back normal male, doc said this was not good, said if it came back because something was wrong with baby he said that would of been better, said since its normal said then that means it was something wrong with me, said also with my implantation rate which would be 9% said we really have to consider something is wrong with my endometrium, said I should be having a implantation rate of 35-40%. Said after next cycle if not pregnant said I can go ahead and use up my eggs and embryos and hope for a miracle, or get a best friend to carry, or just consider myself done with trying. For this next cycle I will be adding heparin to the mix doc said this is the kitchen sink, said if this does not work then that is all. So I hope this has to work in just getting me a positive would be great at this point, am I feelin sad no because if this cycle is not working and I go in for another consult I believe doc may come up with another plan, he had a med student following him that day and he is usually overly dramatic with outcomes when he is being shadowed, So now just waiting for meds to get here so I can start lupron, thank god no birth control pills.

Beta#1

Just got the call Beta #1 is 77, which means I am preggo yeah, doc was like you don't sound very excited, I was like I am but I am under my desk sneaking on cell phone. Estrogen is 520 and progesterone is 22. Go back thursday for second beta, pray for a great doubling time. Number sounds like a singleton hubby will be relieved just sent him a text made sure to tell him number is in range for one.

Tommorrow is the day...

Well beta is tommorrow, so far this FET has been different with symptoms usually I get the sore bbs not this time. Yesterday I had the most awful taste in my mouth that I could not get rid of no chewing gum, or brushing teeth or eating helped. And yesterday it was a girls night out for dinner, I did not eat at all my food was just not appeatizing to me, and my sil had this rice with this ginger thing on top of it and it just smelled so horrible to me, then they wanted to bar hop, so walking up and down the streets to the bars, and I was cramping like crazy, and got a shooting pain in my groin area, today I am taking it easy about to watch my netflix, and hope for great news tommorrow.

WTH?

Ok so I am at work here freaking out, I just went to the bathroom and when I wiped there was dark brown blood. I am hoping this is implantation spotting, I never spot before I have a period, unless its been six months or more since last period and its just spontaneous bleeding because lining is so thick from not have a period for so long. In this case not the problem been having medically induced periods since december. Now my question is does this mean the embies just implanted so it would be two days before I see anything on a hpt, or if I took one now it would show up.

The symptoms I have been having are the usual cramping for two days after transfer, my left side feeling like I pulled a muscle, then since tues if I don't eat within hour after waking up my stomache cramps(I am not a breakfast eater, I usually do not eat until noon which is my lunchtime at work) and I feel like I haven't ate for days. on Wed my sister made a salad for dinner and I thought I was going to barf looking at it, I had to leave. yesterday I was just feeling nauseous, and when her boyfriend got in car after smoking I was dizzy smelling the smoke come off of him.

They are in again for fourth time....

Well they are in 3 blasts again, embryologist said he thawed out six one didn't make it, said all five were really good, these were the three best, perfect lining, perfect uterus as always now will they stick is the question, so far have not been hit with a gastro attack like I usually have an hour after transfer, just the usual little cramping where embryos were put. This Swine flu has me paranoid did not appreacite the fact the ultrasound tech was sneezing and had a runny nose especially since transfer rooms are suppose to be sterilely clean, also someone in back of embryologist lab office was having a an awful sneeze attack, of course I am the guinea pig all the time they are training a new ultrasound tech, and when we were waiting for doc I heard them in the corner how they had to send a ultrasound tech home again for being sick. I wonder why they always put on left side, and not right side. Oh well Beta is on May 18th hoping to sneak in at 7 am so I don't have to miss any work.

Transfer Time

Just got the call with transfer time, it is tommorrow at 9:45 am, yeah get this show on the road.

Had my lining check today, it was a 11 so everything so far is good to go, they will start thawing and growing to blasts on Monday, I felt sad they had there annual breakfast for infertility week, I was like wow I am still here, it will be a year since my ivf and nothing so far, they will call me on wed to let me know how the embryos are doing, if it ends up being a three day I get a call on tues., so lets see how this goes still so far no nauseous, dizziness, or throwing up this time, last FET cycle was just real hard on me for some reason.

Upcoming appointments

lining check on thursday, I have to say so far so good, no nauseus or dizziness, maybe it was the bcp that did that or the fact that I am taking my metformin again and correctly. I spoke too soon about my endo doc she called in saying she wants me to take a hemoglobin a1c test, I will do that thursday morning before lining check since office is down street from re, and have appointment with the results of that may 5th, just hoping no insulin yet.

I have dates for the 4th time

The witch showed up, I am to start estrace on april 19th, go in for suppression check on april 30th and if all is well tranfer on May 8th, which puts beta either may 18th or 19th. My endo never called me back which means the metformin is enough to control my blood sugar. So far so good on the metformin no met tummy, I am suppose to up my dose tommorrow and take one in morning and one at night, but I think I am going to wait till weekend to up it, in case I get met tummy don't want to have it at work. This time around I am not taking it on empty stomache I eat first and then I take it.

My coworker had her first ultrasound monday identical twins 2 in one sac, she could possibly have a etopic pregnancy. She was complaining of sharp pains I told her to go see doc to make sure it hasn't grown in tube, well she saw the two heartbeats today, the etopic has not grown anymore so doc is not sure if it is etopic or not, she goes back friday if it is growing they should be able to see something on friday and she will have surgery to remove it, should not effect the twins, I am so happy for her, and hope she does not have a etopic pregnancy and hopefully its just some debris stuck in tube or it will reabsorb back into body.

Endo scratch

Had the endo scratch today, it was not what I had expected, I thought it was going to be bloody, it wasn't, it felt like when you have sex and cervix is low and cervix is tender, it took all of two minutes, no antibiotics, no restriction on sex, things continue as is, so now just wait for witch and do transfer.

I also found a endocriologist I like, my blood sugar was high she said it is in diabetic range, had to do a 3 hour gtt, my day was spent in the doctors office, so I am now back on metformin she will call me on friday with gtt results, she said going ahead with transfer is fine, by the time I have it, the metformin will be in system, she said that if it works, that she will have me in for weekly testing, because I will defintely need insulin when pregnant,

My coworker that did ivf with another doc at the clinic just had beta on friday it was 383 and her second beta it was 1479, I am happy for her, sounds like twins her ultrasound is next week.

shg

Had my saline sonogram today uneventful, everything was fine, now just wait for april 3rd to start lupron and have D&C, I forgot to ask how long is the healing time after a D&C.

wth appointment

well had my follow up today, he does not suggest doing immune testing or clotting disorder or a biopsy, he said with immune testing and blood clotting tests, yes you will find a positive test because there are over 30 tests to run everyone has some kind of disorder, he said with a biopsy there is nothing it will tell that we already don't know, that I do have a luteal phase defiency because I do not have cycles or ovulate on my own, The plan that we are going to do is take a Z-Pack and Flagy antibiotics for 10 days, and do a D+C or endometrial scratching as he calls it, he said if there is anything like a high bacterial count the antibiotics will take care of it, and then the D+C will allow me to grow a new uterine lining, because we are damaging the one I have now, he says if this doesn't work then it is a problem with the embryos, which I know then the next thing will be pgd testing, well that is actually still up in the air, because he has not sat down with the embryologist to discuss in detail if he noticed anything from the lab photos, but he said with the brief conversation he did have with him embryologist said they were perfectly fine, he has a meeting with him on wed said if there any changes he will call me. On Monday I have a saline sonogram, that is standard because we ae going into another year of treatment, on april 7th is the D+C, and on april 3rd I start lupron and end of april beginning of may will be transfer. This time he will take day one embryos and grow them to blasts. I hope this one works because this is last one insurance will cover, and then we are out of pocket, so who knows when we would be able to do it again, don't feel like wrapping my head around that one yet.

Am I Grasping at Straws?

I have been researching immune testing and had found a website that listed all the immune testing categories and symptoms as why this test would be done, under Natural Killer cells, and uterine lining issues, alot of the symptoms matched up:

3 or more failed ivf/fet transfers and embryos of good quality
irritable bowel syndrome after transfer- an hour after transfer it was like a bomb exploded and I had not ate anything yet
flu like symptoms - after transfer I felt like I had the flu, article states this is a reaction from the hcg in the embryos.
flare up of cold sores - I always have flare ups thats why I keep abreva in my purse and I had a flare a few days after transfer
randomly breaking out in a rash or hives - this always happens to me on my arms
high insulin/Pcos - yep thats me


or it could be a blood clotting disorder many pcos patients have this when the uterine lining clots, so implantation is impossible, I know when I cycle I have like a dry cycle where I am just passing blood clots and no blood flow with it.

If something is wrong and I had a choice I would rather it be the blood clotting disorder because insurance covers the meds, for natural killer cells you have to do ivig for 3 days for 3 months it costs $10,000 and most insurance does not cover for natural killer cells, I can understand why because Natural Killer cells is not necessarilty a bad thing it helps protect you against cancer your body is able to fight it off, the downside for me is that my body thinks my embryos are cancer and the natural killer cells attack them.

So I do not know maybe I am reaching, I just wish I could get the testing done and find out in the same day. Oh the waiting thats what I hate about infertility testing the waiting, the immune testing I can get done right away I am hoping insurance covers I will probally get it done same time as biopsy if insurance covers, the biopsy I have to wait for cycle to end in order for me to do it. I have my follow up with doc on monday, at least it will be cd3 so i can get that done need that so insurance will cover my next FET, and schedule my biopsy.

Sorry Charlie

Well got the call beta is negative again, will go in next week for the what the hell happened consult, I do know I want a biopsy to make sure no implantation issues, he was talking about another lap, umm no there was nothing at the first one. He also said testing for clotting disorders, and autoimmune testing. I also will call an endocrinologist and have another glucose tolerance test, need to have one I have been slacking in the metformin department. Just am so tired and drained right now he took all day to call usually I have a call by noon. He did not call me till 3:40 pm, just alot of tension in my back because everyone has been calling to see if I had results yet, and it made me jump everytime the phone rang. Back to the drawing board